Acting through it...

Hello

2007-09-03T22:13:58Z

Hey. Been a long time. Still living though. Lots of news.

Moved to Martinez with my boyfriend, Nick. We live in a cool appt. now. Killer

Still working at Gymboree, now on the weekends I'm driving back and forth from Fremont.

Amanda moved, it makes me sad! She got a kitty, thats pretty cool.

Thats pretty much it. I miss my friends from High School, I guess this is the only way to really contact any of them, that and myspace. I just spent the last hour wondering while looking at the pics of them... why dont they call me? I called them, sent emails and myspace stuff. Right? My number never changed, my only friends are Amanda and Jaclyn. Oh well I work too much now to see them anyways. 5 days a week and school the other 2. I visit my parents when I can, at least once a week. I barley have time to myself, haha oh well. I know.. boo hoo poor little baby. Whatev.

I'm Not Dead!

2007-03-20T06:47:04Z

Hey! Get this world, I am not dead! For those who haven't heard from me in a while I'm okay... well ish. Everything great is always followed up by something crappy. *Every action has a opposit reaction* you remember that garbage from high school right? Haha as you can see I kinda do. So my classes at DVC have been goin good, I'm probably doing the best that I have been in a long time. I feel motivated and I want to get good grades and put real work into it. Too bad that my past semesters are really making my transcript suck. Oh well thats one bad thing happening. My money situation is just as frustrating! I've been with Slaveway.. opps! SAFEway for about 2 1/2 years not and I'm still getting poverty level income! Other checkers are making about 20 bucks an hour while I earn a startaling 8.60. I KNOW!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?! Turns out they stiffed me on my raises for the past 2 years! HA! So not only do I hate my job they arent even paying me enough to have fake moral. I already filed a greivence with the union but it takes time and I want my money, its mine I earned it but I just don't have it! HA! And so I hate my job! I got a second one, just had my seconed day. If you know me and my feelings twoards little brats with runny noses and stupid hair cuts and their damn parents thinking their kid is damn cute and doesn't need to have manners and all that crap they you will think my new job is odd. It is, its a gymboree. But I really like it. The parents arent stupid incompitant breeders who cant wrap their shit to prevent the continuation of dumb, they are rich and smart and I like to call them "yuppies". Its 10.50 an hour and I get 50 bucks if i work a birthday party (about 2 hours of 'work') and additional bonus for creating lesson plans (copy and paste of the lesson plans on the gymboree website). So cool, the only down side is no down time. But thats fine, I need to keep busy to keep my mind off of other stuff.

Amanda is moving in summer to Florida and that is super shitty! My best friend is leaving... the state to a different coast! Its not like we see eachother a lot but its the principal of the thing! She will call me on thur. and tell me shes coming down fri. and we should hang out. We just came back from a ski/snowboard/fallingdownamountain trip and it just made me even more sad that shes going away and I won't be able to see her for SOOOOOOO long!

My parents and I aren't getting along again, it was my falt. I don't wanna give the details but I know I was wrong. I messed up big time and they love me but they dont hafta like me. So it just makes home even harder. I'm working on getting on their good side again but I just wish I could go back in time and redo this.

Nick got a letter from the army last week and he is most likely going to be called up to serve. He can go back for 12 to 18 months. 6 months training and 1 year away. Its the strangest thing. I will be sitting there happy and laughing and the next second I am crying and so sad I can't talk and a few moments later I am fine. I cant look at anything military without getting pissed off or sad, but mostly mad. Its not fair. There are people waisting their time in class or working just to live pay check to pay check and dont really care or live for anything or anyone, but they get to live their lives uniterupted. Nick is going to school and getting great grades, got a new job making good money and we would be able to move out and fulfill our dream of falling asleep in eachothers arms and not worry about waking up and driving home or sneaking around. To be able to live together and see eachother whenever possible, hug him and kiss him and know he is only 3 feet away in the next room, just be in life with him. We won't have that now. He will be gone. I just don't know. I am glad I have all that time being eaten up by 2 jobs and school cuz I would go nuts just sitting and thinking.

But that is how my life is now. It has its goods and bads, and thats how the world works. And remember children, you can always say "at least its not the end of the world. I see no horsemen YAY!" I dont say that though, thats a dumb saying!

rosieteazer @ 2007-01-17T23:47:00

2007-01-18T07:48:30Z

Amanda is a great friend! She is always there for me. 30 points for her.

Amanda: 30
Julia: .... 70,496,435,743,593,750,743,573,457,347,537,530,975,934

PS: I have the stomach flu... yay

rosieteazer @ 2007-01-07T23:08:00

2007-01-08T07:10:21Z

Forever and a day has it been since I posted.

I went to new york
I am tired of my job and am searching for a new one
Nick thinks he is going to get called back any day now.... I am hopefull for the opposit
I miss him... He is in Florida visiting a friend
Amanda is also in Florida
I should have been there too!!!!
I got a new bike
I love my Boyfriend
I got the dark angel DVD set for christmas from myself
I love my kitty still

Thats it. comment if you like me!

Ow!

2006-09-13T06:58:10Z

Today, there is a change. Instead of Julia writing, Nicholas Sylvester will be interpreting for his margarita intoxicated girlfriend. School sucks balls. I would enjoy lobbing a fragmentation grenade in speech class, and watching human remains splatter the wall. People at my job are getting married, and it is sooo annoying. Jessica and douche bag Daniel(set him straight when I was discharged from the Army) are no longer getting married. Bunch of stupid fucking cheeseballs. I couldn't stand watching them suck face all over Safeway. I feel so much satisfaction from their worlds destructing. Even more satisfying is that Jessica will no longer be able to sport those 'J' "heart" 'D' earings anymore. That pussy confessed that he never loved her the way he thought he did. Nick works at Safeway now, and I can't keep my eyes off that hot ass. Just the way he heaves those bags of potatos effortlessly over those broad shoulders just drives me crazy. I also want to take this time to declare my undying love for the margarita. They are so damn tasty. Saw the movie the crow, and thought brandon Lee was good looking. Nick's better looking though. Nothing compares to a hardened combat veteran who was willing to sacrifice his life to fight for the freedom of our great nation. I just got done serviceing my serviceman, and it was fucktastic. I can't wait till he's a Liutenant. When I become an Army wife, I will wear some sexy ass heals everday. My parents come home tomarrow and I'm not that excited. I miss them, but in a way I didn't.

Ok ythis is julia and I AGREE... i gthink so. okay byel

UI sderank a lot troday... im so bad and i thionk its a horrible thing. hahahaha dont tell anyhtone!

rosieteazer @ 2006-08-20T00:09:00

2006-08-20T07:12:09Z

Not too much going on in my life right now. School just started and I bought a book from a girl over the internet (amazon.com) and its the wrong edition. so im trying to get a refund, and I'll need to buy it over again at the dvc book store. Thats all, and work, and yeah thats all. I need to get my wisdom teeth taken out.. slightly impacted and they hurt a little from time to time. Sometimes a lot from time to time. Just painted the bathroom yellow! Yay! Go me and fun color choices.

I love the BK chicken fries commercial... tell me if you love them too. The race car driver and the chicken on the stoop hanging out with the other fries... "maybe I do... Yeah, maybe you do."

rosieteazer @ 2006-06-29T10:58:00

2006-06-29T18:01:25Z

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

thats good fun. Nick cancelled on me yesterday and today. We were supposed to hang out but he didn't want to. The reason sounds bad... so I'm not going to type it. But who knows maybe Its just my perseption of the reason. Possibly its not bad at all, but in my small little mind it was twisted hahaha who knows. All I know is I dont have a car for a few says (long story... I'll probably post that later) and I need to get a perscription filled TODAY! I'll probably ask Nick anyways just to see if he will help. My mom is already gone and I dont know when she will come back haha.

Im happy!

2006-06-16T10:28:40Z

I have a good life. I have a great boyfriend. Im getting more hours as a cherker now and summer is here! My mom and I are getting along now, pretty well and my dad and I too. I havent asked him about the computer thing and I dont think I will. RENT is coming to SF and I am soo freaking excited. happy.

yeah... And Amanda is home so we get to hang out! freakin sweet!

Hm... for tomorrow i will clean my closit. I will spend time with my mother, go golfing with Nick then i will go to work. And get something for my dad!

Hehehehe

Garage sale is coming up. that sounds like super fun!

psycho

2006-06-06T07:47:15Z

You learn a lot by going through someones computer history. My father thinks I have a personality disorder.

They really don't know me... do they.

Sad

2006-06-06T07:15:03Z

I am very unhappy right now. Everything was going very well until my mother and father had a meltdown. I don't know why but they do not like Nick anymore. The few reasons are dumb, but I do understand where they are coming from. So now instead of him coming out here, I go to Martinez. Thats fine, its ok I do not mind, its just now my mom hates me. Ok, maybe not hate, but she doesnt like me anymore. I can't do anything to make her happy. Nothing.

I do as she asks shes still unhappy, I talk with her and still... nothing. Whenever I make plans with her she gives me a guilt trip. "You don't have to... Don't pitty me... I know you would rather be with someone else." She doesn't love me anymore. She wants me to break up with Nick. But I love him. I really do. I keep telling myself that she will come around but she wont, maybe... oh hell I dont know.

And for the 30 seconds that I entertain the idea of breaking up with him for her I start to cry. I know it will hurt me and I dont want that to happen. I dont want to leave him. why doesnt she like me anymore. I fucking told her I was going to take her to the movies tomorrow and she doesnt even want to go with me. I swear she does hate me. She said if I decide to be with Nick that shes moving away and doesnt want to see me again. I can actually feel my heart breaking.

I dont care cuz no one else does.

2006-04-11T18:09:27Z

This has been a pretty bad week. Not that it really matters anyway.

My mom is mad.. at me? at the situation? I donno.
The doctors suck so bad. I have never been to the hospital or the doctors so much before now.
Nick is... well hes concerned but he shows it in different ways I guess. But doing other stuff and not talking to me or seeing me. That hurts but I guess he just... hasta take a step back from us for now.

My birthday was good. Pretty fun actually, good dinner and a nice comedy show. Jim Gaffigan is very funny. I hurt but it wasnt that bad.

I'm pretty sure my dad thinks I'm faking my "illness" but I dont care.

I hafta go in for more tests, and i got a persciption for my throat. But they wont know whats wrong for a while. Maybe I'll just act like it went away and everything will be normal again.

So close..

2006-04-05T04:52:01Z

I am so bummed. My friend William in Florida had the privalige to meet Anthoney Rapp yesterday. He hung out with him AALLLLL day! ALLLL DAY!!! I was dumb and saw a movie (phone on silent) and didnt get his phone call all day! He was gunna let me talk to him! I am soooooooooo sad! Oh well I'm really tired now.

Still sickish... throat soar and glands sill swollen. Dr. Appt on the 11th.

3 days til my birthday! I hope I get that pony.

Life sucks

2006-03-29T20:34:08Z

So if life didn't suck enough these last two weeks, it just got worse... I list:
Missing the one acts: sucks.
NOt getting any money from not working: sucks.
Nick's uncle passing away: sucks.
Leg continuosly hurting: sucks.
Cat missing for a couple of days: sucks.
Dr. Office being jerks: sucks!
Finding my cat was hit by a car: SUCKS!
The reason my leg hurts is because my liphnods are inflamed because of the medication (the pill) I take and it wont go away for a while: SUCKS!
Having to make up an essay test cuz I was at the dr. office today: Sucks!
It will cost about $450-550 to diagnos correctly whats wrong with my kitty: sucks! Not being able to help him: sucks!
Not being able to help myself: SUcks!
Having to go to the Dr. office AGAIN in 2 weeks to get a... female examination:.... omg thats gunna suck so bad!
Going to work tomorrow for the first time in a week and it still hurts: sucks
Running out of medication: sucks
My math teacher hates me... omg how he hates me: sucks... but I hate him too! cocksucker...

I think thats it for now. I'll be back to bitch later. oh!

Got a cold: sucks
My teeth hurt: sucks

Ok thats it. Can't wait to see all my friends again, hope everyone else's life is gravy. I'm gunna study for my test thing now. I'll ttyl!

HOW WAS THE ONE ACTS! TELL ME HOW GREAT THEY WERE!!!

Love~

My leg!

2006-03-25T18:06:52Z

SO.... Wed. when I woke up my right leg was pretty soar and I didn't know why. Throughout the day it just got worse... and worse and worse! SO finally when it was about 5:30pm at work I called Nick and asked him about soar muscles. Apparently when you pull a muscle you don't limp around or notice that it is swollen. I called my mommy and she took me to the ER. It hurt sooo bad! I was all up and down my leg so bad it hurt. So after a terrifying drive we got there. We were in the waiting room and Nick met us and we waited and waited and waited. I got called in, waited, registered, and waited, then waited some more! When I was seen by the dr. he just asked me about 2 min. worth of questions "where does it hurt? How long? bla bla bla?" We did an ultra sound... after another 2 hours of waiting and got the diagnosis of 'strained muscle' gave me pills and sent me home.

Thursday we went to get my persciption and thank the Lord... VICODIN not! It helps with the pain but it makes me all loopy. I still didnt think it was a 'strained muscle' so I made an appt. with my other dr. and went to her for her oppinion. So now I'm waiting for mon. to get my x-ray. She can't find anything wrong with the muscle but she thinks it may be a pinched nerve or I hurt my foot sometime and sometimes your foot is hurt but your leg feels the pain. So today I'm gunna go to payless shoes and buy better work shoes and walk around in those to see if it helps.

I really wanna go to the show tonight, but my leg isnt feelling better. I dont wanna push it, and I only sit there for an hour, but Nick is like "you shouldn't go, your leg is hurt" and I kinda agree, but I think I'll go anyways. Its only an hour of sitting down so I think I'll be okay.

Wish me luck!

rosieteazer @ 2006-03-17T21:07:00

2006-03-18T05:30:25Z

1) List twenty things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.

1. I only hate you because I'm jealous

2. Do you really not care about what I have to say?

3. Sometimes you act spoiled

4. You are sooooo full of shit!

5. You can't sing and I don't like to hear it.

6. My life is just the same as yours, if not worse, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.

7. You always want what you want now, why not ask other people what they want?

8. You made me feel dirty, used, and... like a slut. I want to kick you in the balls.

9. I think you're gay.

10. As vain as this sounds, you really missed out on a great girl, and you should feel like shit when you look at your ugly ass girlfriend.

11. I can't function properly without you, but I don't want to seem weak and tell you.

12. I want your life!

13. You're a lying bitch!

14. Everyone thinks that your fake, but I know you're not.

15. Why did you hurt my friend? You know the best that it wasn't called for.

16. You think everything is about you, and I hate it when you try to act sexy.

17. Stop preasuring me!

18. You cry out when people lie to you, but you lied to me.

19. You are such a dumb ho and I'm glad you work in a dead end job and will NEVER amount to anything!

20. I'm sorry, I really really am.

If you think its about you, I bet it isn't.

rosieteazer @ 2006-03-10T09:28:00

2006-03-10T17:38:52Z

Everythings going so well!!!!

Recap: I love Nick! I am hopefully transfering out of Floral soon. Schools... welll.... its school! Everything else is just peaching keen! I have new hopes of being a sniper cuz I am damn good at it.

Curious: If Mark in RENT is Jewish and... hopefully connecting his parents into the Jewish religeon as well... on Christmas eve why would his mother call him and say "We'll miss you tomorrow." Which is Christmas day. Is there an important day in Jewish holidays thats the same day as Christmas?... just wondering.

Peace out!

Hostel

2006-01-21T07:59:19Z

Hostel with Daniel... bad. All bad. It made me cry. Bad.

Bad

rosieteazer @ 2006-01-18T21:39:00

2006-01-19T05:39:56Z

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner.

</td>

James Bond, Agent 007

88%

Lara Croft

79%

Maximus

79%

El Zorro

75%

Batman, the Dark Knight

75%

Neo, the "One"

71%

The Amazing Spider-Man

71%

Indiana Jones

63%

Captain Jack Sparrow

58%

The Terminator

46%

William Wallace

46%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

such a long time...

2006-01-17T09:30:36Z

wow. its been so long since I've updated this thing. hahaha.... let me think...

I went to the improv show... good show. Kinda sad that I couldn't talk to my friends that much cuz Nick was telling a very long pink joke. Kinda bummed be out but oh well. Carly and I got these dumb kids kicked out of the show. There isnt a lot to say right now, kinda wanna keep a few things to myself. I have found that people take what I say the wrong way. Not just my friends or family but people at work too, most of the time at work it ends up as a dirty joke. Kinda funny, kinda sleezy. (ie. Greg says "wow... that tomatoe is expensive! 3.99 each!" Julia says "wow... that is pricy! Is it really big or something?" Greg: "size does matter, huh baby?" .... ew!!!! Or Vince "how are you julia?" Julia: "Fine thanks. Nothing to complain about!" "ya.... someones in it alright" That was gross.... I was like like "in wha.......... .... ... ." *Shakes head*)

I stayed the night at Amanda's house the other day and watched Jonny depp movies, good times. Her bed sucks though.

OMG! Everyone needs to go see Hoodwinked! FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!! I almost died I was laughing so hard. Oh.. that movie... plus I ate like... 19,054,387,389,468,974,543 things of candy. Good times!

Peter's home... hehehe that boy... hehehe

The day I had to write down.

2005-12-20T18:29:44Z

Yesterday was perfect!!! It was the perfect outing for me. I put this with the days that Carly and I are spontanious (which, hasn't happened for a while so I'm guessing after the holidays spontinaty will ensue!) I'll write this... somewho... hm... I'll just write it! ha!

So... I woke up early to go to Safeway and talk to the store manager Issac. he said sorry for what happened and If I ever get harrased again to just call him. Which is great! Then I drove home and Nick was waiting for me! There was a bird that was being attacked by my kitty, but the bird kinda just gave up. But I saved him and put him in a tree. After that we left to Sylvia's and ate a breakfast (I had a BLT and Nick had a sandwhich). The we hopped on Bart and went to San Francisco!!!!!!!!!!!!

First thing we did was look around the shops and then get lost. (hahaha) Then at about 12:50 we stumbled across our movie theatre that had our show at 1:10pm. We saw (drumroll please) The Producers! It was sooooo amazing! Nick liked it a lot! I was so happy! I was rolling in the isles with laughter! It was great. Totally disapointed in Uma, they should of had an actual singer, or at least dub her! Preferably the first though.... then we went across the street and went ice skating. It wa Nick's first time and I was sooooooo scared for him! But it was great! He didnt fall at all, almost, but didnt. hahaha. It was about five now so then we went to look for somewhere to eat. Walked around, didnt like anything, went to the cheese cake factory and it was packed! Saw a floral street vendor and bought a BLUE ROSE! ya its pretty cool. Finally we found a Lori's diner and ate there.

It was about seven so we decided to take a trolly ride. We took it from Powell to Fisherman's warf. It was cool, we had to sit on the inside of it on the way there. Got out, walked around and sumbled on Ghiradelli square! I haven't been there before but I loved it! We shared a banana split in from of the water. It was perfect! Then we went back on the trolly and sat on the outside. We must have picked the better side cuz when we climbed the hills on the car there was a moment when you saw through all the buildings, down the street to the city. The golden gate bridge was light up, the lights everywhere, from the houses to the buildings were blazing and the moon... The most beautiful orange moon I have ever seen. It was only hidden a little bit by the clouds and everytime we climbed a hill and wanted to just... do something crazy! Kiss Nick, cry, yell, laugh, pass out! I dont know I wanted to do something.

The whole day was perfect! Not too cold, but not hot. I had to take 1 of my jackets off though, but the day was perfect. Absolutly great! Perfect.

argh..

2005-12-18T03:00:12Z

So I woke up a few times this morning to take my medication right? Well... at about 11 i decide to call work to tell them to find someone to cover my shift cuz I don't think I can come into work today. I tell Savannah and said she would call me back. About thirty minutes later Kat, the floral manager, calls my cell and tells me that no one can cover my shift (remember that, its important)She then tells me "well. I had to call Issac (store manager) and ask him what I should do cause Kristin and Savannah dont call in sick" and then says I have a few options:
1) Dont come into work but bring a dr. note.
2)come to work at 2 (when I'm supposed to)
3) Come to work at 3 (an hour later than supposed to but its okay)

She then tells me how she has UTIs all the time and its no big deal. As soon as you get the medication you should be okay. So I decide to come into work at 2ish and just tough it out. (BIG MISTAKE) I dont talk to anyone I'm not nice or anything. I am in a bad mood and I am in pain. I tried not to cry but Its really hard not to. For an hour Kristin and Savannah are there, then they both leave. I hafta cut all the flowers and all the cutomer service shit by myself. Then as I am walking to starbucks for a cup of water Mary Jo (assistant manager, and the lady in charge today) sees me. This is our conversation:

Mary: Julia! What are you doing here? They told me you weren't going to come in today cause you're sick!

Julia: Well... I had to. No one could cover me.

Mary: Savannah was suppose to cover you! She was going to stay to 6 tonight.

Julia: She couldnt. she would be working from 6 am to 6 pm. Thats like.. three ours over time.

Mary: No... kristin started at 6, Savannah came later. She was going to work a 9 to 6 and cover you. You shouldn't be here, you look terrible.

Julia: Oh... (this is when the freakout session began.)

I went to floral, looked at the call sheet and sure enough Savannah could have most definatly stayed til 9. I was yelling and crying and cussing. Finally Christine in produce took me upstairs and I calmed down. Marla looked at me and told me to go home, and she and this other lady would cover floral. So I came home. and mother fucker I was crying for a good hour or so. Like uncontrollable sobbing for over an hour. Nick came down and made me feel better. He went out to get a movie for me to watch cuz I was so upset. So... ya... Julia mad. More so mad that she would say "no one can over you" and Savannah could have! So I left with half the work done and the department a mess... oh well... fuck that. I dont need that horse shit. Thats messed up.

Shit.

rosieteazer @ 2005-12-16T21:49:00

2005-12-17T05:56:12Z

I feel horrible.

Julia at work today:

Calling Kat (floral manager):

Julia "Hey Kat? I gotta go early. I need to go to the hospital."

Kat "why whats up?"

Julia "I'm pissing blood again. I have a UTI (urinary tact infection)"

Kat "What time are you supposed to get off?"

Julia "Seven" (it was 6:10)

Kat "Is the department clean at all or what?"

Julia "Well ya, I'm cleaning it up now, then I'm gunna go. The other manager said it was okay."

Kat "Okay... uh just leave the girls a note. Oh and Julia, I know this is kinda an emergency, but you cant be doing this all the time ya know. Its a holiday next week and we're gunna need you."

Julia "..... (crying) Okay..."

Julia's inner monologue 'Are you fucking kidding me?! Oh Ok next time I pee blood I'll do in on a slow month"

Julia "ok... bye"

Does that seem okay to anyone out there in TV Land? Cuz I've been crying for the past two hours cuz it hurts to pee. Have you ever not wanted to do something sooooo normal because it fucking burns like rasor blades!!! IF YOU FUCKING EVER FEEL THAT THEN YOU CAN TELL ME WHETHER I CAN LEAVE WORK AN HOUR EARLY TO GO TO THE MOTHER FUCKING ER SO IT DOESNT SPEAD TO THE KINDNEYS WHICH IS A LONGER HARDER INFECTION TO GET OVER! I am sooooo upset its not even funny. I am sooo broken down right now I just... aw fuck. I have work tomorrow.

rosieteazer @ 2005-12-06T23:29:00

2005-12-07T07:35:45Z

Without You
The Ground Thaws
The Rain Falls
The Grass Grows

Without You
The Seeds Root
The Flowers Bloom
The Children Play

The Stars Gleam
The Eagles Fly
Without You

The Earth Turns
The Sun Burns
But I Die
Without You

Without You
The Breeze Warms
The Girls Smile
The Cloud Moves

Without You
The Tides Change
The Oceans Crash

The Crowd Roars
The Days Soar
The Babies Cry
Without You

The Moon Glows
The River Flows
But I Die
Without You

The World Revives
Colors Renew

But I Know Blue
Only Blue
Lonely Blue
Within Me, Blue
Without You

Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats

Without You
The Eyes Gaze
The Legs Walk
The Lungs Breathe

The Mind Churns
The Heart Yearns
The Tears Dry
Without You

Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die

Without You
Without You
Without You
Without You

We had a small fight, but we are okay now. I love him, and I don't know what I would do if I did anything to hurt our relationship... So many things can fuck us up. I can't control the world or other people. But I can control myself and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt our love.

God I'm emo, but I love him. Sometimes the realization kicks in and I can't breath and I can't stop smiling. I loose all my words and just... think about how much I appriciate him.

Life Goes on, but I'm gone, Cause I die... without you.

Suuuuuch a long time!

2005-12-04T19:36:39Z

Lemme just give updates real fast of whats goin on in my life.

Caught a Trout with Nick. It was damn fun.
Had a blast at Erik's party
Yelled at Nick that I loved him and caught him off guard
He said it back.... yay!
Got a new haircut with red highlights
Gunna get it trimmed again, she didnt go as short as I wanted her to

I think thats the highlights.... hope I didn't leave anything out.

Oh! Im gunna audition for Our Town in LMC. Hope that goes well!

Julia

Today has been a goooood day....

2005-11-22T10:34:39Z

Today started out kinda weird. Had to do a couple of essays and then went to english, which wasnt horrible. Went to quiznos with a guy from my class, then met with Carly. We drove down a twisted road... to her barn! I met Rose! I got to wear cool riding clothing and all that happy (excuse the pun) horse shit. After that I watched carly ride Rose, very beautifully then it was my turn... Whee! I got on and carly walked me around then let me go by myself. Rose got scared when she saw a lady take down some branches so she started to side kick and turn sharply then she swung her head back and wacked me in the helmet. I decided it was time to bale, which i did, as carly and her mom and mom's friend said, "oh so gracefully you fell!" Then I got on again and Carly walked me down a trail thing. We were done and we sang to rent on the way home. Carly got a sandwhich and then dropped me off. I had soooooo much fun! it was great! Even the falling part!

Then Nick came to my house to meet me. We drove around for a good 20 min. cuz we couldnt pick what to eat. Then we got Tao San Jin and it was damn good! tried to catch a movie, but it didnt work out for us. So we rented "the butterfly effect" and then made out/fooled around for a good amount of time.... boy it was soo amazing. But I dont need to get into that.

Sometimes I forget that people read these. Like if it was just.... ya know a diary I keep under my bed... well.. I can gush and write all the dirty little secrets without thinking twice about someone reading it. But its online where all my friends can read it and I am suure that someone, somewhere does not want to hear about how great fooling around is. Sorry. There I did it again. Maybe I should just be more careful about what I write, but them I am filtering my own diary. Well... bottom line is... sorry if I write anything that you dont want to read, but I do keep it PG right? I dont like... detail it. Oh ok.. bed time! My mom just popped in... "arent you getting to sleepy?" thats not too as in very sleepy... no its arent you getting to sleep...y? I would blame it on her being tired... but shes asian and we all know thats the real reason. haha just kidding... not really. Man do I love my mom and dad and brother and what on earth brought that on?

I am getting to sleepy.

Julia